A Little Bit About How and Why the Memorial was Created
Having a child die is every parent's worst nightmare. When that happens there is a darkness that descends, a shadow that can blanket an entire person or family. In that sorrow there is a need to remember, celebrate, honor, talk about and share the life of that child. There is also a need to try and heal, to find a place to keep the grief that is always with you.
The Martha's Vineyard Museum, as steward for the Edgartown lighthouse, and as part of their restoration of the historic lighthouse, created the Children's Memorial at the Edgartown Lighthouse to memorialize children who have died. It is for children of all ages everywhere, not just children from the island. People from all over the world have embraced the Memorial and aided in its development.
Lighthouses are and have always been special places representing safety and hope, which is why we think this is a wonderful place to honor and remember our children.
The memorial is meant to be a haven and place of sanctuary where by connecting with each other and this landscape of such beauty and grace, your soul may be touched and perhaps, with that, will come a sense of peace and renewal.
The badly deteriorated base of the lighthouse was rebuilt and families can have their child's name carved into a granite cobblestone and placed permanently into the foundation. The blocks are laid parallel to the shoreline in a pattern echoing the rhythm of the waves, marked by compass points. It is our hope that the child's name will be seen in the context of eternity.
The Memorial is made of 3500 granite cobblestones, 2000 of them of a size to hold a child's name. They are surrounded by a polished granite border and divided into quadrants by granite spokes mirroring beams of light from above.
This gives us a place where the joy and love of children can be celebrated, a place to keep the love and memories alive. A parent mourns the passing of their child every day, but it is their life, spirit and love we remember and cherish and wish to honor.
The vision and creation of the Memorial is the outgrowth of a family's tragedy and one parent's efforts to come to terms with his grief. In October of 1995, Rick Harrington's son, Ricky, was killed in a car accident. "When you have a child die, there's no way you can get over it and get on with your life. It's impossible, it can't be done. But you learn to find ways to live around that tragedy."
Rick grew up on Martha's Vineyard and his boys spent their summers on the island, swimming, playing, and fishing for hours at a time. After Ricky died, Rick started seeing images of lighthouses everywhere, on a woman's clothing in church one day, on a billboard, and in a dream at night.
He came across a photograph of Ricky and his younger brother standing in front of the lighthouse, and took the words on Ricky's T shirt, "Just Do It" literally. In that moment the dream of a joyful and fitting memorial for his son began to take place.
The plaque laid into the base, on the water side of the lighthouse, contains two lines adapted from the poem, 'Remembrance of an Unforgotten Vineyard Summer', by Tomas Napoleon, poet and family friend, written for Ricky Harrington's memorial service. You can read the entire poem by clicking this link.
After years of hard work and fundraising, the Memorial became a reality in July 2001 and in 2007 the lighthouse was renovated and the interior opened to the public. Presently the Memorial has several hundred children in it. There are children here of all ages who have died from illness, accidents and other tragedies. Some are from the Vineyard, many are from further away. Together they are holding vigil at the lighthouse, sending out a beacon of light, love, support and memories that cannot help but touch us, guide us, hold us, comfort and enrich our souls.
The road to healing is a long one, and different for each person. We hope the Memorial can be a way station for you on that pilgrimage or journey.
For those of you who have visited the memorial or have children who are part of it, I hope this site can help maintain that connection. For those of you that cannot visit the Memorial, I hope the web site can bring you a sense of its quiet wonder and simple grace. Martha's Vineyard is a place of great beauty and of kindness. The beauty I hope you might experience a little in the pictures here and elsewhere on the web. The kindness you will have to experience personally. Those of you who might travel here will find some information about the island and links to other Martha's Vineyard information and travel sites on our travel page.
For whatever reason you visited our site, we hope you will leave with your hearts a little fuller and the knowledge that you take our best wishes with you.